One of the most important tools when it comes to family law cases involving children is to keep a daily journal. I ask each one of my clients to do it. It does not have to be anything elaborate, a simple spiral notebook will do. No matter what type of case you are involved in - divorce, time-sharing (custody), modifications, enforcement, etc. a journal can be very helpful. They are most helpful in refreshing your memory as to events that happened on particular days so that you can accurately describe these events to assist your family law attorney in preparing your case or when providing testimony before the Court. It helps you remember specific dates, times, behaviors, and conversations. These types of accurate details can add credibility to your case.
Here are some simple tips to help you capture the information that will be most helpful in preparing for your case:
- Contact attempts that have been denied
- Phone calls that go unanswered, and/or voice mails for the children not returned
- Every single time that the other parent violates the time-sharing (custody) order
- Every single time the kiddos have a remarkable school outcome, including: good or bad grades, tardies, absences, missed parent-teacher conferences, disciplinary issues
- Any time the parent does or fails to do something on behalf of the child(ren) (takes to doctor, dentist, scouts, church, etc.); include names of third-party objective references such as teachers, coaches, youth pastor, etc., who can verify parental involvement in child’s life
- Notes of all time-sharing (custody) exchanges to include the child’s demeanor, adverse behaviors, other problems with the exchange (e.g. other parent changed location, time, caused a ruckus, attempted to deny access, made excuses for a failure to appear, etc.)
- The other parent’s flexibility in accommodating make-up time-sharing
- Failure to involve parent in important or major decisions
- Any attempts by other parent to use the child(ren) as a messenger, with details of the message
- And equally important is to note "Nothing noteworthy occurred today"
Think in terms of what you would like to tell a judge sometime down the road. Also consider how you would substantiate your claims. If you want to be able to say, “Your Honor, the other parent is denying my children their court-ordered access to me…”, then you want to also be able to back that up with, “…in the month of June, I attempted telephone contact 30 times, and was able to make contact only once….” or whatever the actual details are. If you have it in a journal that you have kept daily, then it offers a lot more credibility
