Divorce - It Is Not Just Between The Parents

You often hear about how the divorce is between the parents and should not involve the children. Although in theory that sounds right but for all practical purposes it is the furthest from reality. When it comes to children of divorcing parents their life suddenly turns upside down. The two people that they trust and depend on the most are parting ways. Everything in their world is changing. As parents, helping our children through this difficult time may be one of our greatest challenges, especially when you are dealing with your own roller coaster of emotions. Here are some tips that may assist in helping your children cope through the divorce process and as an added benefit make your bond even stronger:

1) Remember you may no longer be husband and wife but you will always be Mom and Dad. You will always be a family.

2) Children are listening even when you think they are not. Make it a point not to make derogatory statements about the other parent no matter what the circumstances or who you think may not be listening.

3) Children often identify with each of their parents. When you make a negative comment about the other parent, your child will likely take it personally.

4) Give your children the opportunity to bond and have a relationship with each parent.

5) Place yourself in the other parent's position. Would the timesharing and parenting plan you are proposing be acceptable to you?

6) Be flexible and plan for change. When the other parent asks for assistance or adjustments with the schedule, accommodate them if its possible. Review and change plans as needed.

7) Encourage daily or as frequent contact as possible.

8) Manage your emotions when dealing with conflict.

9) Consider your children's needs and relationships instead of focusing on the parents' entitlement to time.

10) Consider the burden on your children when developing a parenting and timesharing plan. What will their day-to-day life be like - going to school, spending time with friends, feeling at home, etc.?

Keeping these few tips in mind can provide great rewards in developing and maintaining relationships between children and both of their parents; helping them to adjust in the short term and making it possible for them to thrive in the long term.