Your Piece of the Marital Pie...Reality Check!

Interestingly enough clients come into my office daily with a mindset of exactly what they want from their divorce settlement to the point where it is almost an obsession. This is where my role as "Counselor-at-Law" comes into play and a reality check is often necessary.

It is understandable that after all the years of marriage and sacrificing there is going to be certain property that you desire, even feel like you are entitled to. Let's pause, take a step back, have you asked yourself the tough questions? Have you been honest with your assessment?

When it comes to this _____ that you must have:

-  Can you afford it? Have you considered how you will be able to buy the other spouse out of their share? If you are awarded this asset, can you afford the mortgage, the property taxes, the maintenance and upkeep?

- Is this a want or a need? Are you able to distinguish between the two?

- What else will you be sacrificing to obtain this property? Is it worth the other sacrifices?

- Is this realistic?

- What if circumstances change in the future and your (soon-to-be) former spouse is unable to pay his/her support obligations? What is the immediate impact it will have on your budget?

- Are there other options that would suit your needs?

- Have you asked yourself, why? Why this house? Why this vehicle? Why this silverware?

- Is there a legal hurdle, financial hurdle or emotional hurdle that you need to overcome regarding this want/need?

- Have you considered your spouses needs and desires? (this is probably the most difficult question but the answer does matter)

If you are facing divorce you are already aware that the process is difficult and the process does not end when the judgment is final. Divorce can and will impact every aspect of your life. As much as possible think through the process, know what you need for your future. Don't be afraid to discuss these needs with your attorney and revisit your needs as the divorce progresses; we all know needs change.

How will this benefit you? Knowing your goals puts you in a better position to negotiate a settlement agreement that meets your needs. Believe me, divorce gives plenty of opportunity for negotiations. The largest percentage of cases are settled between the spouses and not the Judge. By not considering these questions you get stuck on one position and leave yourself with few options. Quite likely this type of thinking can be to your detriment. However, by asking yourself these questions you are allowing yourself to establish a set of goals, establishing your specific needs and not just focusing on an object. Consider options for accomplishing your goals and be open to discussions in negotiating your divorce settlement when possible.